Wednesday, October 3, 2012
When did it start all going so bad?
I posted the clip independently since I wanted to make sure you can watch it if you want.
As I turned on my computer this morning I was hit with this chaos which was portrayed as "news". I have never been one to trash the media. I grew up watching television and yes, did my homework with the TV on. It worked for me. I may just be getting old but the things we call news and the things that are on TV now are really senseless, and harmful in the long run for personal growth and even happiness.
As I see this clip all I see is people behaving rudely for all to see. "In my time, this just did not happen!" I am a year and months away from 50 by the way.
What are we teaching children? I feel that with children and adults exposed to so much rudeness we are saying that as a society it is acceptable to curse, use foul language and in essence, bully others as a way to assert ourselves and get our way, be heard and "shine above others"
As a society we have a responsiblity to be civil, respectful and teach our minors how to be behave. As elders, we have to set the example. It does seem that no one wants to be an elder as everyone is holding on to youth. Perhaps we ALL need to grow up!
My initial question was, when did it start? First thing that comes to mind is good ole Jerry Springer. Long time ago, his show involved security guards and chair throwing. Then there was "baby daddy... Maury" and it has just gotten worse from there.
What are we creating, what are we exporting? Let's look at ourselves, our media and you answer that for yourself.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Can you love too much?
Since the 1960's we have become used to seeing messages of "make love not war" "Love is all you need" Love, Love , Love.
However, I think we have to define what love means to us and how we express it. We also need to learn healthy from unhealthy love. We have to be careful that we are not trying to "control" others, or do so much for others that we "handicap them".
Love is not about "pain" but there can be pain in love, growing pains. As a parent, one has to allow their children to make decisions for themselves, you have to let them make the attempt to get up and learn to walk independently, you can not build cushioned flooring at home and be at the child's side to hold their hand and carry them everywhere. If you do, you raise a "crippled person". What you did out of love in fact hurt the child because he/she will never be able to go to school or eventually work unless he/she knows how to get there on his/her two feet. OK, so this is a very simplistic example, but I have worked with couples and families where the partner or parent thinks they are helpful, kind and loving but in fact, are creating dependence. It's funny because then the partner or parent will eventually complain about he child or partner is just not being able to do things for themselves.
There must be freedom and trust in love. Parents and partners have to give each other space. On the far side of control we have people that "force" others do things their way. They believe that how they do things is the "right" way.
We all need space to grow and develop at any age. A small tree under a larger one's shadow is never going to grow to it's full potential.
However, I think we have to define what love means to us and how we express it. We also need to learn healthy from unhealthy love. We have to be careful that we are not trying to "control" others, or do so much for others that we "handicap them".
Love is not about "pain" but there can be pain in love, growing pains. As a parent, one has to allow their children to make decisions for themselves, you have to let them make the attempt to get up and learn to walk independently, you can not build cushioned flooring at home and be at the child's side to hold their hand and carry them everywhere. If you do, you raise a "crippled person". What you did out of love in fact hurt the child because he/she will never be able to go to school or eventually work unless he/she knows how to get there on his/her two feet. OK, so this is a very simplistic example, but I have worked with couples and families where the partner or parent thinks they are helpful, kind and loving but in fact, are creating dependence. It's funny because then the partner or parent will eventually complain about he child or partner is just not being able to do things for themselves.
There must be freedom and trust in love. Parents and partners have to give each other space. On the far side of control we have people that "force" others do things their way. They believe that how they do things is the "right" way.
We all need space to grow and develop at any age. A small tree under a larger one's shadow is never going to grow to it's full potential.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Hurrican Andrew 20 years later
For those of us that have lived in South Florida for more than twenty years this is a "special" if not a surreal weekend. Twenty years ago today, South Florida was hit with the first hurricane in many years. Miami had grown since the early 1980s. There had been massive development of new communities and few, then residents, had lived in Miami in the 1960's which was the last hurricane most "remembered " which flooded parts of Miami and Key Biscayne. Even fewer remembered the last major, devasting, hurricane in Miami back in 1926.
This weekend, South Florida is watching Tropical Storm Issac while remembering Hurricane Andrew 20 years before. This week the groceries store shelves were cleared out of certain items. Many have spoken out loud of the memories, of fears and concerns.
This is a "loaded" weekend. While we may remember what happened to us twenty years ago, we must remain calm while taking intelligent precautions. Keep some extra cash around, buy some non perishable foods, load the car up with gas, find the battery operated radio, and for home, get a "cheapie" phone that connects to wall and is not cordless. This is a time to stock up and be ready, not to panic.
While everyone has lived through a lot of pain and growth in the last twenty years, lets focus on growth, we are better, stronger people today. We have been tested and tried and have survived. Let's focus on the positive, be smart and hopeful. Key word for this weekend KEEP CALM. : )
This weekend, South Florida is watching Tropical Storm Issac while remembering Hurricane Andrew 20 years before. This week the groceries store shelves were cleared out of certain items. Many have spoken out loud of the memories, of fears and concerns.
This is a "loaded" weekend. While we may remember what happened to us twenty years ago, we must remain calm while taking intelligent precautions. Keep some extra cash around, buy some non perishable foods, load the car up with gas, find the battery operated radio, and for home, get a "cheapie" phone that connects to wall and is not cordless. This is a time to stock up and be ready, not to panic.
While everyone has lived through a lot of pain and growth in the last twenty years, lets focus on growth, we are better, stronger people today. We have been tested and tried and have survived. Let's focus on the positive, be smart and hopeful. Key word for this weekend KEEP CALM. : )
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Glam-mas face aging in style: ’Every era builds character’
Being free and happy at any age. Let yourself be who you are............
Glam-mas face aging in style: ’Every era builds character’
Glam-mas face aging in style: ’Every era builds character’
Monday, May 21, 2012
What we value in people
Looking at what is in the news makes me think about what kind of world we live in. We seem to live in a world that values youth, looks and overt sexuality. We are exposed to these messages every second it seems. We need to color our hair, grow or have the right pout, and wear and drive the latest model car and the best designer clothes. Professionals are even judged but how much money they make. Which asks the question? Who is more successful, Mother Theresa or Donald Trump. Food for thought there!
Seems like it is very easy to get stuck in a superficial, never ending quest for more. Yes, never ending. We can end up caged in our thoughts while on a wheel thinking we are moving forward but infact wasting a lot of energy.
Then we hear about people affected by various medical problems including being stricken by flesh eating bacteria and losing their limbs, all their limbs. What may that person think as the shock wears off and they have to live in the world? Realistically, they most problaby will need a lot a therapy both physical and emotional to return to functioning that will be not be the same. It will be a new life and yes, there is life.
But what can we learn from these situations? A lot! We need to return to a time when people were valued not by perceived wealth or physical attributes which now most likely are surgically enhanced but by their souls. Their ability to love, have emphathy and be giving to their community. We can not take the wealth with us. At birth and death we are all the same. I feel that we need to redirect our focus from weatlth and phyical features. If we give, we recieve. Perhaps focusing on loving and caring for ourselves and others. I heard someone say once " God doesn't make junk. " We all have strengths and weaknesses that makes us who we are. We are like Yin Yang. We need to begin loving our strenghths and our weaknesses as well as others'. It would be such a neat world if it did not matter what we looked like, what we drove, or what our financial assets were and we can love one another. A world like that would embrace a person who's life has been healvily altered by disease. A person "disfigured " by accident or disease. I guess I can dream and try to be an example.
Seems like it is very easy to get stuck in a superficial, never ending quest for more. Yes, never ending. We can end up caged in our thoughts while on a wheel thinking we are moving forward but infact wasting a lot of energy.
Then we hear about people affected by various medical problems including being stricken by flesh eating bacteria and losing their limbs, all their limbs. What may that person think as the shock wears off and they have to live in the world? Realistically, they most problaby will need a lot a therapy both physical and emotional to return to functioning that will be not be the same. It will be a new life and yes, there is life.
But what can we learn from these situations? A lot! We need to return to a time when people were valued not by perceived wealth or physical attributes which now most likely are surgically enhanced but by their souls. Their ability to love, have emphathy and be giving to their community. We can not take the wealth with us. At birth and death we are all the same. I feel that we need to redirect our focus from weatlth and phyical features. If we give, we recieve. Perhaps focusing on loving and caring for ourselves and others. I heard someone say once " God doesn't make junk. " We all have strengths and weaknesses that makes us who we are. We are like Yin Yang. We need to begin loving our strenghths and our weaknesses as well as others'. It would be such a neat world if it did not matter what we looked like, what we drove, or what our financial assets were and we can love one another. A world like that would embrace a person who's life has been healvily altered by disease. A person "disfigured " by accident or disease. I guess I can dream and try to be an example.
Value of people?
We live in a society focused on outward appearance and the appearance of wealth. More of the "show and flaunt it" wealth than on wealth of knowledge and intelligence or values, morals and love of others. This is what I have learned from what is popular on television shows and the way I see people carry themselves. It seems that people are valued by how much money they appear to have and what they look like. There are countless advertisements and news stories about cosmetic surgeries. Seems you can have yourself radically altered these days. There is also the pursuit of money and material things. It is like living in a cage with a wheel. We are in constant motion but where are we going and what is the goal?
So we live in the quest of beauty and money. But then we turn on the news to stories of people stricken with disease or by an accident and having lost limbs and being radically changed physically, coping with limitations and emotionally scared. What then?
What can a person stricken by such devastation feel or think? Living in the same world we live where we value all these exterior things, what must they feel and what will happen to them?
I think it makes us wander what is really of value. These people are alive, will survive and will have feelings as will their loving family. What is their purpose and what can they provide society. I think that they are living examples of how people are not what they wear, drive or earn. They are living examples of a love of life. We all have souls, thoughts, and feelings. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We are like Yin/Yang. It would be great if we focused more on our values, morals, and good works. They say no man is an island. I don't think we were created to judge each other on how we look or how much money we have attained. It's funny because what we believe to be beautiful today is tomorrow's ugly and what is rich? As someone one asked, who is more successful, Mother Teresa or Donald Trump?
If we learn to love our neighbors we practice something that will grow. We will love one another and ultimately ourselves. Now, THAT, is priceless. Perhaps the best anti aging secret too.
So we live in the quest of beauty and money. But then we turn on the news to stories of people stricken with disease or by an accident and having lost limbs and being radically changed physically, coping with limitations and emotionally scared. What then?
What can a person stricken by such devastation feel or think? Living in the same world we live where we value all these exterior things, what must they feel and what will happen to them?
I think it makes us wander what is really of value. These people are alive, will survive and will have feelings as will their loving family. What is their purpose and what can they provide society. I think that they are living examples of how people are not what they wear, drive or earn. They are living examples of a love of life. We all have souls, thoughts, and feelings. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We are like Yin/Yang. It would be great if we focused more on our values, morals, and good works. They say no man is an island. I don't think we were created to judge each other on how we look or how much money we have attained. It's funny because what we believe to be beautiful today is tomorrow's ugly and what is rich? As someone one asked, who is more successful, Mother Teresa or Donald Trump?
If we learn to love our neighbors we practice something that will grow. We will love one another and ultimately ourselves. Now, THAT, is priceless. Perhaps the best anti aging secret too.
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