Sunday, February 21, 2010

Self Help Books

Many of my clients ask me about books they can read. Some have read numerous books, some have never and ask for titles.
I am an avid reader, primarily fiction. I have read many psychology books as part of my training obviously.
However, I believe we have to be cautious regarding self help books. First, a topic that is written about extensively is dating. My goodness, if those books were so great, everyone would be in a relationship and/or married. There are very good books to read and there are bad books to read. Well, not "bad" but books that list rules for dating. Like, where are the theories and studies to back this up. I will say, and this is partly true and partly a joke. If you happen to be a neurotic person, well be it, and let that date get a dose of who you are. Sure, there may not be a second date but once your neurosis came out in full swing, they would be out the door anyway. And, guess what? As you continue to date, a neurosis loving date may appear and you have met your soul mate. Yes, I know, it is not necessarily that easy, but the point in this is, be yourself. Honor thyself. I am not saying don't read the books but don't forget who you are.
Obviously, if you feel you are neurotic and not happy about it, well then, you may want to seek professional counseling to balance the neurosis and make appropriate changes.
What I do recommend is to look for books written by mental health professionals. You also may want to look at their credentials. Some writers say they have a doctorate degree but when you look it up, it is not even in psychology.
I guess my point is, buyer beware and don't act like anyone tells you to in a book. Be yourself.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day

Valentine's, another of those "holidays" that half the people say they hate and the other half can not get enough of. It is another day that merchants prepare for and the airways are full of commercials for. "For the one you love.........." It is time for that huge diamond, huge flower arrangement. Key word, huge.
Now, there are many single people out there and I want to dedicate this to them.
Those with any kind of "significant other" make sure you give each other something.
Oh, and by no means am I saying, the "huge" anything. A meal, time together, a thought or a rose is fine.
Now, back to singles. I want to add that Valentine's Day is a day of friendship. I actually spoke with a teenager recently that agreed with another friend ( both are girls) to be each other's Valentines. No, it is not sexual, it is in the spirit of friendship.
Now, singles, don't forget yourself. Treat yourself to something nice, a pedicure/manicure is nice, maybe in vivid red,unless you are male and want to go more conservative, then do clear or buff.
Take a class, do something for yourself and of course, do not forget your friends.
Send greetings to all on your social network sites, give co workers candy or bring in something with that theme.
Valentine's Day is a day of friendship,a day to acknowledge friends, relatives and all those that are around to give us warm and fuzzies through out the year.
Enjoy!