Dating after a breakup is a tricky thing. When is the right time? I tell my clients to use caution. While it is important to socialize and interact with others, it is important to understand that when you have had a long term relationship or marriage, there is a bond or joining of souls, if you will, that has been broken. After a break up you are vulnerable, and it is very easy to fill the void with another person, who will turn out to be the wrong person. Not that the person is a bad person, but most probably not the right match. It is normal to want to get back the attention and "love" that was lost; be careful.
The person "abandoning" the relationship may have already met another person who was used to fill that person's void and strengthen the person's will to leave and abandon their partner. The "dumped" person many times comes to counseling grieving the loss,abandonment and envying the "dumper's" relationship. There is nothing to envy there. That relationship many times is weak, based on lies and infidelity. There may be a marriage but not a healthy one. For the "dumper", when that "second" relationship ends, that person will grieve both relationships. The "dumpee" has grieved once. So there is nothing to envy. Once the "dumpee" finds a new partner, they are in a much better place emotionally and spiritually. After separation and divorce, focus on yourself and get to know yourself again. Reconnect with friends. If you date, understand that this person can be a friend and reframe from focusing on relationship. It is OK to date many people. Dating does not mean becoming sexually involved. Focus on self and self growth with a healthy network of friends.
