Have you ever heard someone say, " she's nice and all but she has so much drama" " oh, she's got so much drama" " I am staying away, she's got too much going on" " oh, I can only be around happy people, not people with drama"
Have we possibly abandoned our friends and family when they most need it? In times of drama and stress.
Listen when you are out and people are talking. No one wants to deal with the ugly in life but the ugly in life is going to happen, we can't stop it.
In the age of YOLO ( you only live once) FOMO ( fear of missing out) and a quest for beauty and permanent youth, we may have never grown out of adolescence. We don't want to be old, we don't want to be near the old ( be it people , cars or homes) and we discard the old to bring in the new.
We seem to be blindly running away from what we think is sad and just doesn't suite us. People leave their long term marriages , men usually want to trade their partners for a younger model and " do over". In their 50s men feel they can start over as if they were 30. This is slightly different for women since there is an end to childbearing, however, there is the knife and surgery can help them make changes.
So every action has a consequence. We have and continue to create a world where we are not just hurting the environment with the garbage we produce but we are creating societal garbage. We have taken our souls and just threw them out. We don't empathize or even sympathize. We say " oooh, that is too sad, best not get involved"
We need to get out the mindset that we "must remain positive" "we must avoid drama". While I don't recommend we go find toxic people for hang outs, I do think we need to get out of ourselves and reach out to help others. In the circle of life, I help you, you help him, he helps another and we all play a role in making this life a more meaning healthy place to be.
Peace.
Monday, May 6, 2019
Thursday, February 28, 2019
A lesson from the Cohen , Trump situation.
This is not political. That being said let's explore what can be learned from this situation that our children are exposed to on a regular basis. By the way, don't think they don't know. I have had children tell me their thoughts about what they have some how become aware of with out any prompting.
So as I write this, the question plastered in the media today is, " who do you believe?"
That reminds me of the story of the boy that cried wolf. He lied and lied and one day he told the truth and no one believed him. This situation is a teachable moment for parents to work with their kids on the consequences of lying.
You don't have to get political. You can discuss how here is someone speaking and because he has lied in the past, others are having a very difficult time believing him and he may just be telling the truth but no one is comfortable believing him.
Children learn from example, and that example is, parents, teachers and all adults they are exposed to. Obviously parents need to work on being truthful but also talk through experiences where others, especially other adults, are not being honest. Children are like sponges and yes, the community including extended family and media play a role. Plan on talking to your kids this weekend.
So as I write this, the question plastered in the media today is, " who do you believe?"
That reminds me of the story of the boy that cried wolf. He lied and lied and one day he told the truth and no one believed him. This situation is a teachable moment for parents to work with their kids on the consequences of lying.
You don't have to get political. You can discuss how here is someone speaking and because he has lied in the past, others are having a very difficult time believing him and he may just be telling the truth but no one is comfortable believing him.
Children learn from example, and that example is, parents, teachers and all adults they are exposed to. Obviously parents need to work on being truthful but also talk through experiences where others, especially other adults, are not being honest. Children are like sponges and yes, the community including extended family and media play a role. Plan on talking to your kids this weekend.
Wednesday, February 27, 2019
So I think I am back.
Technology is not my friend! I keep saying that. I think I am back up. Ugh.
Hoping this works. It's a change from the last name- long story with Google and the " gift card" for payment. Like no, that sounds like a scam. So in the process I was lost for over a year! I was not paying Google with a gift card.
Will be back soon!
Hoping this works. It's a change from the last name- long story with Google and the " gift card" for payment. Like no, that sounds like a scam. So in the process I was lost for over a year! I was not paying Google with a gift card.
Will be back soon!
Friday, September 22, 2017
UGH!
So I noticed yesterday that I have not blogged since February. I am also having problems with my domain since I want to pay for it but it's impossible. Yes, impossible because there is no human you can contact at Google and while I spoke to some humans claiming to be from Google, I still am not sure. I am told that I can not pay with a credit card over the phone. It's time to renew payment but it's gotten rather complicated. So, I am blogging today hoping for the best here. I hope you all can still follow me at blogspot.com.
SO much has happened in the last few months. We have had hurricanes, fires, earthquakes, floods. We have world leaders calling each other names and talking about bombing each other. Seems like everywhere you turn you hear ugly news.
No, it's not the end of times but I am sure that these times will be spoken about in the future. The era of natural disasters and ugly times where people are just rude to each other. No, not everyone but it's the bad potatoes that get the attention.
I think we need to focus on kindness. What happened to " treat people like you want them to treat you?" Just look at the healthcare debate and all that has happened up to this day on this. Health care should not be political, and why can't everyone be taken care of when sick or have preventive care so they don't get sick.
We need to be cautious to not idolize money. Hoarding riches and money does not bring happiness. To deny people something as essential as health because they don't have money or because they may have had another illness prior is just plain wrong. I see it very simple, the richest person on the planet can be affected by the unhealthy uninsured person, who may be ill and unable to get healthcare. How, you ask? Let's say that the richest person on the planet dines at an exquisite place. Let's say that the assistants at the restaurant do not have health care and have ( name a communicable disease) . This person in the kitchen can not afford to take time off work, comes to work sick because they are unable to get care. Well, it is very possible that richest person may acquire an illness because of the situation I just mentioned.
Can we start caring for ourselves and for others? Remember the concept of love? Love thy neighbor as yourself? Of course , you have to like yourself to do that. Let's try and jump off the rat race a bit and enjoy life. Enjoy experiences and relationships. Hoarding money and material things , as we have seen recently, very quickly can be gone. Living in joy and community fills you up more. Think of it as protein to your carbs!
Be well peeps.
SO much has happened in the last few months. We have had hurricanes, fires, earthquakes, floods. We have world leaders calling each other names and talking about bombing each other. Seems like everywhere you turn you hear ugly news.
No, it's not the end of times but I am sure that these times will be spoken about in the future. The era of natural disasters and ugly times where people are just rude to each other. No, not everyone but it's the bad potatoes that get the attention.
I think we need to focus on kindness. What happened to " treat people like you want them to treat you?" Just look at the healthcare debate and all that has happened up to this day on this. Health care should not be political, and why can't everyone be taken care of when sick or have preventive care so they don't get sick.
We need to be cautious to not idolize money. Hoarding riches and money does not bring happiness. To deny people something as essential as health because they don't have money or because they may have had another illness prior is just plain wrong. I see it very simple, the richest person on the planet can be affected by the unhealthy uninsured person, who may be ill and unable to get healthcare. How, you ask? Let's say that the richest person on the planet dines at an exquisite place. Let's say that the assistants at the restaurant do not have health care and have ( name a communicable disease) . This person in the kitchen can not afford to take time off work, comes to work sick because they are unable to get care. Well, it is very possible that richest person may acquire an illness because of the situation I just mentioned.
Can we start caring for ourselves and for others? Remember the concept of love? Love thy neighbor as yourself? Of course , you have to like yourself to do that. Let's try and jump off the rat race a bit and enjoy life. Enjoy experiences and relationships. Hoarding money and material things , as we have seen recently, very quickly can be gone. Living in joy and community fills you up more. Think of it as protein to your carbs!
Be well peeps.
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Parenting in the era of smart phones.....
I guess I am a curious person. I observe behaviors and reactions in the general public.
I walked in to my local grocery store the other morning and there was an elderly lady sitting at the entrance. It was early in the morning and felt I should say, "good morning" I did.
Growing up, my parents and my parents' peers seemed to always be asking us, " Did you greet so and so?" Yes, totally embarrassing us and forcing us to greet friends and strangers alike. We needed to be polite.
Fast forward to the era of smart phones. What do I see? Parents on their phones either talking or texting and their kids just walking behind them not able to speak because parents are otherwise distracted. Oh, and I have had children in my practice upset that mom or dad is " always on the phone"
But, in this new era. The era where we are apparently being trained to be none feeling, robots , unable to engage socially with others in real time. What happens?
There is no, " honey , did you say good morning to....?" While kids are off the hook, we are not properly socializing our kids, are we?
I think something is lost. I feel that kids no longer know what to do socially in real-time. I hope we don't end up unable to speak and that we eventually will sit with others texting each other because we have lost our social/ verbal skills.
We seriously need to budget our smart phone time. People have fallen and I imagine we are prey to thieves if we walk around staring at our phones. Parenting is a 24 hour, 7 day a week job. It's in the little things. It's talking to our kids as we see things, share about our lives at that age.
We need social relationships, we need for them to be in real-time.
Let's become more mindful of our online time. Kids need adults. They need relationships, and we are modeling "normal" behavior. All of us, even childless adults. Kids are watching.
I walked in to my local grocery store the other morning and there was an elderly lady sitting at the entrance. It was early in the morning and felt I should say, "good morning" I did.
Growing up, my parents and my parents' peers seemed to always be asking us, " Did you greet so and so?" Yes, totally embarrassing us and forcing us to greet friends and strangers alike. We needed to be polite.
Fast forward to the era of smart phones. What do I see? Parents on their phones either talking or texting and their kids just walking behind them not able to speak because parents are otherwise distracted. Oh, and I have had children in my practice upset that mom or dad is " always on the phone"
But, in this new era. The era where we are apparently being trained to be none feeling, robots , unable to engage socially with others in real time. What happens?
There is no, " honey , did you say good morning to....?" While kids are off the hook, we are not properly socializing our kids, are we?
I think something is lost. I feel that kids no longer know what to do socially in real-time. I hope we don't end up unable to speak and that we eventually will sit with others texting each other because we have lost our social/ verbal skills.
We seriously need to budget our smart phone time. People have fallen and I imagine we are prey to thieves if we walk around staring at our phones. Parenting is a 24 hour, 7 day a week job. It's in the little things. It's talking to our kids as we see things, share about our lives at that age.
We need social relationships, we need for them to be in real-time.
Let's become more mindful of our online time. Kids need adults. They need relationships, and we are modeling "normal" behavior. All of us, even childless adults. Kids are watching.
Monday, February 13, 2017
Happy Valentine's Day y'all !
So some people will be happy tomorrow, some will pretend to be happy and then some will just go with the flow and enjoy a day of friendship regardless of relationship status.
St. Valentine's Day has become one of those capitalist days. A day to buy and spend money.
How much you spend on a friend, spouse or lover? ( hopefully you won't have to buy for all three)- oops, just inserting some inappropriate humor here.
Regardless of relationship status go have fun, eat some chocolate even if you have to buy it yourself. Heck, if you buy it yourself you know what you are getting.
Even NPR was on the" buy roses" kick. It was for a good reason, it was all donation based as they were fundraising but some people are very sensitive about this day. They feel they must have a date. But really? Just going out to be somewhat coupled can be yucky, unless you like the person. Besides, restaurants are packed, service staff is stressed and it can get pricey.
Happy Valentine's Day , go be with those who make you happy. That can be a spouse, lover, cat, dog or good platonic friend. Relax.
St. Valentine's Day has become one of those capitalist days. A day to buy and spend money.
How much you spend on a friend, spouse or lover? ( hopefully you won't have to buy for all three)- oops, just inserting some inappropriate humor here.
Regardless of relationship status go have fun, eat some chocolate even if you have to buy it yourself. Heck, if you buy it yourself you know what you are getting.
Even NPR was on the" buy roses" kick. It was for a good reason, it was all donation based as they were fundraising but some people are very sensitive about this day. They feel they must have a date. But really? Just going out to be somewhat coupled can be yucky, unless you like the person. Besides, restaurants are packed, service staff is stressed and it can get pricey.
Happy Valentine's Day , go be with those who make you happy. That can be a spouse, lover, cat, dog or good platonic friend. Relax.
Thursday, November 10, 2016
Presidential Elections 2016.
So we are two days post the election. This election was different from previous elections in the United States.
18 months of campaigning, in what was best described as an unusual election.
This is NOT a political post. This is a "let's talk and keep our sanity" post, primarily because at the end the day, we all have to return to work and have responsibilities.
No one knows the future, we only know the present.
In politics, as in any other aspect of life, we all have an opinion. Some people support President- elect Trump and others Secretary Rodman Clinton. Yes, she always liked to add her maiden name and it's sad she doesn't use it anymore, since I never know which Clinton they are talking about. But I digress.
People of all ages were upset yesterday. Others cheered. Because the Trump supporters are thrilled, and there is anguish with the others, I will address coping skills for those who voted, supported Rodham Clinton and feel "scared" with a Trump-Pence future.
I think we have to stop, turn off social media, TV and breathe. "ground" yourself. What "grounds" you? That is anything that helps you relax excluding food, drugs, sex or alcohol. Yep, sorry I stopped the party. Let's think hobbies, exercise and time with family/friends. Perhaps meditation or prayer. Perhaps reading.
Focus on the here and now. We can not worry about tomorrow nor can we go back to yesterday. No, not possible. Not even if you have the red cap ( sorry, I had to- humor is important)
Sit with yourself and check in to your thoughts. What are your thoughts? What worries you? What scares you?
Doing this should give you insight into what is going on with you. Your thoughts and worries are yours, and another person's is different. so focus on you.
We have witness some real ugly, none professional, sexists and racist behaviors come from this campaign. I guess we all think that we were done with that. However, as some people say. the "struggle is real". Life is a journey and life is very much like the seasons, like the ocean. There are ups and downs and there is change. Life is not static, it is dynamic. While we may sleep , we can not be asleep in life, through out life.
As I observed some unusual campaigning and behavior, I wondered how survivors of abuse, bullying, or sexual assault felt. I felt that some of Mr. Trump's behavior could potentially be triggers for people, especially women who have had experience with an abuser , especially a man. Rodham Clinton handled it remarkably well at least on camera. But domestic violence survivors and others may be affected. That behavior could trigger memories of previous abuse. I would recommend anyone experiencing this to please find a therapist to speak to. Watching that on social media or TV could trigger anxiety and it's best to seek professional help.
We can not expect our elected officials to do for us , just because. They are people, and as "people" they are flawed.
We must be involved in our world. That means being aware, being involved in our political process and being civically involved. It's our country and we must take care of it. Become an elected official, help support an elected official, become an advocate.
Michael Moore said it better than me, but he wrote about the fact that we have not lost America. In fact, Rodham Clinton won the popular vote. That means that America was with her. What happened is that our founding fathers created the electoral college so that changes things. Each state has a certain number of votes and that is what ultimately counts.
So this means we need to work with what we have now, but we need to feel empowered and keep an eye on what happens in government. If we are not happy we must speak up. Find like minded people and advocate for the change you want.
Both political parties have clubs. Find one near you and join. You will meet like minded people and you will therefore not be isolated.
Be mindful of social media, we tend to spend too much time online and too much of that just creates stress. Focus on critical thinking. Question things! Just because Joe Blow says something, do some research before you get all worked up. Be mindful of what you watch on TV and get real facts not just crazy propaganda.
Limit your time to news and political commentary. All that is always going to be there. When you get back from exercising or reading a great book, that is going to be there. No, the world is not going to end. Breathe and understand that if Rodham Clinton got the popular vote, we don't live in a racist, ugly country. WE ARE THE PEOPLE, WE ARE THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES.
peace and love be with you. Together we can.
18 months of campaigning, in what was best described as an unusual election.
This is NOT a political post. This is a "let's talk and keep our sanity" post, primarily because at the end the day, we all have to return to work and have responsibilities.
No one knows the future, we only know the present.
In politics, as in any other aspect of life, we all have an opinion. Some people support President- elect Trump and others Secretary Rodman Clinton. Yes, she always liked to add her maiden name and it's sad she doesn't use it anymore, since I never know which Clinton they are talking about. But I digress.
People of all ages were upset yesterday. Others cheered. Because the Trump supporters are thrilled, and there is anguish with the others, I will address coping skills for those who voted, supported Rodham Clinton and feel "scared" with a Trump-Pence future.
I think we have to stop, turn off social media, TV and breathe. "ground" yourself. What "grounds" you? That is anything that helps you relax excluding food, drugs, sex or alcohol. Yep, sorry I stopped the party. Let's think hobbies, exercise and time with family/friends. Perhaps meditation or prayer. Perhaps reading.
Focus on the here and now. We can not worry about tomorrow nor can we go back to yesterday. No, not possible. Not even if you have the red cap ( sorry, I had to- humor is important)
Sit with yourself and check in to your thoughts. What are your thoughts? What worries you? What scares you?
Doing this should give you insight into what is going on with you. Your thoughts and worries are yours, and another person's is different. so focus on you.
We have witness some real ugly, none professional, sexists and racist behaviors come from this campaign. I guess we all think that we were done with that. However, as some people say. the "struggle is real". Life is a journey and life is very much like the seasons, like the ocean. There are ups and downs and there is change. Life is not static, it is dynamic. While we may sleep , we can not be asleep in life, through out life.
As I observed some unusual campaigning and behavior, I wondered how survivors of abuse, bullying, or sexual assault felt. I felt that some of Mr. Trump's behavior could potentially be triggers for people, especially women who have had experience with an abuser , especially a man. Rodham Clinton handled it remarkably well at least on camera. But domestic violence survivors and others may be affected. That behavior could trigger memories of previous abuse. I would recommend anyone experiencing this to please find a therapist to speak to. Watching that on social media or TV could trigger anxiety and it's best to seek professional help.
We can not expect our elected officials to do for us , just because. They are people, and as "people" they are flawed.
We must be involved in our world. That means being aware, being involved in our political process and being civically involved. It's our country and we must take care of it. Become an elected official, help support an elected official, become an advocate.
Michael Moore said it better than me, but he wrote about the fact that we have not lost America. In fact, Rodham Clinton won the popular vote. That means that America was with her. What happened is that our founding fathers created the electoral college so that changes things. Each state has a certain number of votes and that is what ultimately counts.
So this means we need to work with what we have now, but we need to feel empowered and keep an eye on what happens in government. If we are not happy we must speak up. Find like minded people and advocate for the change you want.
Both political parties have clubs. Find one near you and join. You will meet like minded people and you will therefore not be isolated.
Be mindful of social media, we tend to spend too much time online and too much of that just creates stress. Focus on critical thinking. Question things! Just because Joe Blow says something, do some research before you get all worked up. Be mindful of what you watch on TV and get real facts not just crazy propaganda.
Limit your time to news and political commentary. All that is always going to be there. When you get back from exercising or reading a great book, that is going to be there. No, the world is not going to end. Breathe and understand that if Rodham Clinton got the popular vote, we don't live in a racist, ugly country. WE ARE THE PEOPLE, WE ARE THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES.
peace and love be with you. Together we can.
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