Handling evil

This nation was attacked by evil on Monday. Innocent people and an entire nation have been affected by senseless evil on Monday. Now, it is important to understand that evil is not an ethnic nation, a culture, a color, a religion and it is not owned by a particular entity. Once we learn who was behind this senseless act we must remember not to persecute, attack or in any way judge other members of whatever ethnic, or religious group this person may appear to belong to. Evil lives and is attached to whomever subscribes to it's beliefs. Not all people including family members of the suspect(s) are responsible for what this individual has done. Many times when the person responsible for such crimes/ evil as experienced on Monday are found , other individuals have been known to hurt businesses of people that have a similair ethnic group to the accused. This happens more frequently if they are a "foreigners". I believe that two wrongs have never made a right. We can not judge all people by the actions of a few.

Honey, I want to go out with my friends.

I find that many people have issues with their significant others going out with their friends. Seems like the thought is loaded with meaning, different meanings for different people. Socializing with same sex friends is totally appropriate yet many people have visions of inappropriate behaviors, lies and affairs. Going out with friends can be establishing book clubs, going golfing, joining a sports team and even an innocent "happy hour" after work to just hang out with work friends. Going out with friends does not have to be on "date night" but during the week or during the day on Saturday or Sunday which ever. Having a group of friends to bond with does not take away from the marital/love relationship. It is "guy" time and "gal" time. Trust and communication in good faith is vital in any relationship.

Happy New Year!

Such excitement! Parties and hopes for a fresh start, tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow starts a new day and new year. Yes, it can be overwhelming. But it should not be... tomorrow will be just like today. The new year does bring a kind of hope that we can set goals and things will be different. Nothing to stress about. Use this time to think about things you may want. Kind of a Christmas Club account if you will. Now, some of you reading this may not know what a Christmas Club account is ( ha ha) I am aging myself. A Christmas Club account was available at banks, and you could save money through out the year for Christmas. Ok, I was a mere child when those were popular. Start the day exploring and taking small steps toward a larger goal you would like. Use this time wisely for change but understand it will be small change and there will be bumps on the road. Happy New Year and thank you for reading my thoughts!

Christmas and the newly single.......

Well, it's Christmas. The time of the year for families and friends to gather, pictures of long tables with everyone looking nice , smiling and surrounded with family are everywhere. Children are all smiling, their clean, well dressed and well mannered. Sweet isn't it? Perhaps your picture is not that cute. Perhaps you have a Goth teen, a grouchy husband, or no family at all. Whatever you have, if you can read this, feel blessed for your eyesight and your cognitive skills. I have learned that there is a season for everything. I have a personal mantra, "when in doubt, look at nature". We can have horrible weather, be it snow or rain storms where it looks like it will never clear, but it does! After a horrible Winter there is Spring ( my favorite time of year) I want to dedicate my thoughts to the men and women coping with their first year of separation from a spouse or any long term relationship. There is a "death" or very bitter winter when you first separate or divorce and you feel that your world just had an earthquake. I am not getting into how you got there, you are there. While you should allow yourself time to mourn, also look at this as being the only Christmas you will have in 2012. Start a new tradition for yourself that will help you feel like it is Christmas. If you always have a tree and don't feel like getting one, buy a live 6 inch Christmas plant at the grocery store. Do something Christmas-like. Do something different. Live the moment. It may feel like life is over, and some part of your life is, but guess what? Spring will come and new feelings will blossom. You have a choice right now, rebuild your soul stronger, or whither away. I say you choose to rebuild. Make new friends, open your soul to the world. Find others that have lived through what you are living, both currently and/or that have rebuilt. You are not alone. Reach out and you will see that there is a whole community of separated and divorced just waiting to be your friend. Let the light of hope shine on you!

NYC officer, the boots and the world......

National news is reporting that the man given a pair of boots by a NYC officer is walking around barefoot again. I can't say that it suprises me. Homeless people are on the street for a myriad of reasons. There is a large number of them that suffer from mental illness. They do have loving families that can not help their relative because the person does not want to be helped. Not that they are ung...rateful or bad, just that they have a mental illness, usually a psychotic disorder, which does not allow them to live in "reality" or in "the conventional world" And, yes, many do have a drug and/or alchol addiction but that is usually secondary to the mental illness. In fact, many addicts in general are self medicating for a mental illness. What the NYC officer did was necessary for him as well as for society. To give to others feeds our souls. We should not be discouraged by the homeless man not wearing his new shoes, we need to feel encouraged that a young, NYC officer bought a shoeless man shoes, a woman was impressed enough to take a picture and the world chose to honor all this via a viral you tube posting, facebook postings, and all that ensued. Religous people may say that the NYC office acted as God's angel on earth.

STOP!!

I write this one week before Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is a day to give thanks for our blessings. However, for many who will be hosting a gathering of friends and family, it is now becoming an anxious time, since especially in South Florida, time flies, it's November, and it feels like summer. Before you allow the anxiety to win and posses you, I want you to stop wherever you are and breathe. First, perfection does not exsist so if you are aiming for a "perfect" Thanksgiving, stop now. Focus on who is attending and how you want to share this time. You are going to forget things, so you may want to plan ahead, you may make several trips to the market. You also may forget some items you cooked. Just let go of the idea that there should be perfection. Perfection does not exsist. Perfection if you notice does not exsist even in nature. Once you are free from the grips of "perfection" focus on seasonal, "yummy" food you enjoy and your guests. Once Thanksgiving Day rolls around, be in the moment. Appreciate those particular times and the people you are sharing them with. Think about your blessings. You may not have somethings you may wish you had, but I am sure there are things you do have. If after reading this you can't think of any, give your self time, breathe, and just understand that act of breathing is a blessing. Start there and be thankful. Happy Thanksgiving.......

Victoria’s Secret apologizes for Native American-inspired look

Victoria’s Secret apologizes for Native American-inspired look

This is current in the media today, but what is the real message being sent by airing this show? What is the purpose if not not to provide a sexually charged show or in fact, a very long commercial for a lingerie store. What is being  communicated? What is the purpose?
These models are mere children not old enough to have a beer. Again, what is the purpose? For men to buy these items for the women in their lives and hope they look 20 years old and leggy? Is it for women to buy these items and feel they are 20 and leggy?
What is our message as a society with such a "commercial" in December?
We live in a world bombarded with ads for cosmetic surgery. They are everywhere and the surgeries keep getting cheaper.
What is up with us? Our society?
Can we not love ourselves, appreciate our morals, values, intelligence and  skills. It's time we grow up and stop focusing on the fantasies being fed by the media and our commercialized society. Please!
If we allow our brains to rot behind a TV, guess what? They will.
Grab a book, buy a bicycle, get running shoes, go hiking..... get  a life; love your body the way it is and enjoy life.
And sex, it's about bonding, connecting and love, not about the overly priced small outfit sold to you on the longest commercial........
Native Americans have taken a stand, good for them....