Happiness Found!

The following is not going to be received well by everyone, but if you don't like it, please review your world view. Please do not be quick to disregard and question. Please digest it first.

I have found happiness! No, I am not full of merriment all day and I still have a myriad of emotions, I get angry, I cry, I get frustrated, lose hope at times and all those feelings everyone feels. But, I have found happiness.

Any questions? Well, for starters, I have acknowledged and learned that happiness is a state of mind or a way of thinking and seeing the world. To be happy we have to be honest with ourselves, love who we are, our strengths and weaknesses. We need to value what we have and not focus on what we think we want since that, perhaps, just perhaps, is going to make us happy. I have met many people in my life that challenged me and I have angered many because I take what I have, and build on it. As they say, if God gives you lemons then make lemonade. No, this is not about settling either. But, if you see what your strengths are and build on them you can succeed. I am horrible at math, I became a therapist and hire accountants and billing companies. I did not state accounting as my major so that I would flunk out of college and cry "poor me." I did not try a major in business when my peers were getting their MBAs, and I was getting my MSW at a little well known Liberal Arts College.

I am not trying to say I have all the answers, but I hope if you take anything from this writing is... focus on your assets, your gifts and what you enjoy and what just plain comes easy to you. I don't like bringing my faith into this since I respect all faiths and even the lack of. But, we all come to life with gifts and blessings...... we should use them not hide them. Whatever you are good at, and we all have something... make the best out of t.

Enjoy today because it is where you are now. Yesterday happened and we should not worry about tomorrow....that is not here yet.

New Year's Resolutions

Well, are they forgotten or you never made them? Now may just be the best time to start making positive changes. The pressure from new year's is over and we are in month two. This is 2012 and we are well accustomed to writing it. 2011 is long gone it seems. If you have wanted to make some changes go for it now. Think small and make the small changes that will lead to the larger goal.
I ran the Miami half marathon this past weekend after not running (at all) since December 11th when I completed my last half marathon. Life got busy and I am training for a cycling event. I have since recovered from the soreness, and actually ran a few miles this week. On Sunday, I decided that this year I am fitting more running into my schedule so that I don't have to relive my experience with the Miami half marathon. I ran Tuesday and will continue to run even if only a few miles just to keep up. Again, small goals leading to a larger goal. You pick one or two areas you want to change and start now, February 3rd or 4th....
Best of luck!

Happy New Year

Just a few more days left of 2011. At this time of the year, people set out to make changes and plan on new year resolutions for 2012. While change is good, it is important to remain realistic about change and set realistic short and long term goals. It seems like gyms are packed the first week of January and empty by February. Be realistic and be forgiving of relapses in your plans. It's ok to mess up as long as you "get back on the wagon". You may even want to start your goals early, prior to January 1st. Think of life style change, change for the positive. For example, to live healthier, not just to lose weight. If you start an exercise plan, just follow your plan, go for the walk but don't weigh yourself everyday. Change is difficult and seeing results will take time. Enjoy life, and have a great New Year!
Since we are on the topic of change. In June of this year, after 10 plus years of indoor cycling, I took it outside. I became a cyclist. Funny, that was barely a thought in January. Now in February, I plan on completing a century ride. In cycling lingo that means that I will be doing a 100 mile ride. It is a fundraiser. Again, change can happen at any time, as long as you are open to the process.

Happy Thanksgiving

Yes, Happy Thanksgiving. A day to focus on our blessings and be grateful for what we have. It is not "turkey day" but Thanksgiving. If you are breathing, sitting up, lying down, conscious, have a large family, a small family, no family but have friends, have a good nurse at your side, whatever your situation is, look at the blessings. Even is one is dying with someone next to you at the hospital room you are blessed to have someone love you to the very end. The key to happiness, as I say, is to see and focus on what our blessings are, on what we do have and not what you think you should have. So you don't have a Ferrari but the xxyy car ( whatever you drive) takes you to see your family/friends....be grateful!!!!

emotions and health

One's state of mind is as important as one's physical state. Our thoughts, and our self talk is as important as what we use to feed our bodies. Many people focus on calories, fat content and the like as if that alone was going to keep them healthy. Eating healthy portions of healthy foods is important but we also have to learn to keep our emotions in check. Being quick to anger, and holding grudges, lacking a sense of forgiveness also affects your health. As they say, "skinny people have heart attacks". Sure, it's related to genes but look at how you feel, keep your anger in check, work on communication with others and focus on complete health, not just your dietary constraints and habits.
Ideally, it's important to maintain good, healthy habits which should include, spiritual, physical, emotional, and intellectual growth.
Be well, Keep Healthy!

See a therapist? But I am not crazy!

Many times when a parent or a spouse requests that their relative join them in or suggest counseling, I hear that the person responded that they are not crazy, and only crazy people go to therapy.
Well, first, what is craziness? Besides, to go to therapy/counseling you are going to a place where you have to identify concerns or issues and it's about talking and sharing.
There is nothing "crazy" about counseling and there is no shame. It's important to find a therapist you trust and feel comfortable with. In today's, hectic , if not "crazy", world with all our stresses, would it not be nice to find a safe, non judgemental place where you can go and share concerns, thoughts? To find a neutral party that can help clarify concerns or problems?
The media portrays the therapist as quiet and non challenging in a stark room with a couch. Not all therapists are the same and I always say it's a good thing to try and talk to the actual therapist when you call the office. This is not possible in many large offices that have many therapist but some smaller offices have the therapist make their own appointments. I, personally, use voicemail and make my own appointments. I understand that many times people call and don't feel comfortable talking to someone that is not the person who is going to see them.
If you feel stressed, tired, or something's not right.... it's totally OK and not crazy to talk to a professional.

Creating our sense of being...

I find it interesting that anytime I look at media, any media, they are reporting news of a new celebrity break up. Some are real and some are not. It seems that there is a fascination with break ups. Are we celebrating divorces and other peoples heart aches?
What troubles me is that if we are focused on break ups and others' misery we are maintaining a negative vision and outlook on relationships and life. We are what we breed. As a nation and as individuals, if we breed negativity we are negative. We actually place ourselves in a dark box. It's about choices and how we choose to live our lives. We can choose happiness or we can choose sadness. Again, I know that there will be nay sayers. I understand the illness of depression and that bad things will happen to us. We need to grieve losses but also grow from them. We can choose to live, to be happy for others' successes and live in the light of growth, health and well being.
I am personally tired of hearing about real and or imagined break ups. Let's celebrate healthy relationships. Notice I did not say "happy," I said healthy. These are the committed, relationships that have their highs and lows. Let's celebrate kindness to others, friendships and goodwill!