Value of people?

We live in a society focused on outward appearance and the appearance of wealth. More of the "show and flaunt it" wealth than on wealth of knowledge and intelligence or values, morals and love of others. This is what I have learned from what is  popular on  television shows and the way I see people carry themselves. It seems that  people are valued by how much money they appear to have and what they look like. There are countless advertisements and news stories about cosmetic surgeries. Seems you can have yourself radically altered these days. There is also the pursuit of money and material things. It is like living in a cage with a wheel. We are in constant motion but where are we going and what is the goal?
So we live in the quest of beauty and money. But then we turn on the news to stories of people stricken with disease or by an accident and having lost limbs and being radically changed physically, coping with limitations and emotionally scared. What then?
What can a person stricken by such devastation feel or think? Living in the same world we live where we value all these exterior things, what must they feel and what will happen to them?
I think it makes us wander what is really of value. These people are alive, will survive and will have feelings as will their loving family. What is their purpose and what can they provide society. I think that they are living examples of how people are not what they wear, drive or earn. They are living examples of a love of life. We all have souls, thoughts, and feelings. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We are like Yin/Yang. It would be great if we focused more on our values, morals, and good works. They say no man is an island. I don't think we were created to judge each other on how we look or how much money we have attained. It's funny because what we believe to be beautiful today is tomorrow's ugly and what is rich? As someone one asked, who is more successful, Mother Teresa or Donald Trump?
If we learn to love our neighbors we practice something that will grow. We will love one another and ultimately ourselves. Now, THAT, is priceless. Perhaps the best anti aging secret too.

Dealing with a difficult boss

I was asked recently to address the issue of coping with a difficult boss. I think we should never, impulsively leave a job. I think we need to search in ourselves and see what we are feeling.  What are you feeling? Are you unhappy, angry, what is the feeling?  Tuning into our feelings, will help us learn our triggers and hopefully figure out if this is the right job, the right profession or what is going on for us.
I worked at a large company years ago ,  I remember a co-worker ( another mental health practitioner) discussing how the workplace can mimic the family of origin. How you reacted to the "stronger" parent can be the same way you react to your boss. That being said, I think you should try to reframe the negativity to positives as you asses if this is the place for you. There should be no fast moves or changes. Respect the person's power as you assess what you will do.
Now, you may just have a dysfunctional boss with issues. There are bosses who drink and use drugs. Again, look around, with a clear mind. Can you go to HR? Can you make an anonymous report? It this situation a chronic one? Don't burn any bridges, do as you are told, and talk to a neutral party who doesn't work in the same company. The right answers will come, in due time. If you are reading this, and have a more specific question, please leave me a message and I will try to help.

Happiness Found!

The following is not going to be received well by everyone, but if you don't like it, please review your world view. Please do not be quick to disregard and question. Please digest it first.

I have found happiness! No, I am not full of merriment all day and I still have a myriad of emotions, I get angry, I cry, I get frustrated, lose hope at times and all those feelings everyone feels. But, I have found happiness.

Any questions? Well, for starters, I have acknowledged and learned that happiness is a state of mind or a way of thinking and seeing the world. To be happy we have to be honest with ourselves, love who we are, our strengths and weaknesses. We need to value what we have and not focus on what we think we want since that, perhaps, just perhaps, is going to make us happy. I have met many people in my life that challenged me and I have angered many because I take what I have, and build on it. As they say, if God gives you lemons then make lemonade. No, this is not about settling either. But, if you see what your strengths are and build on them you can succeed. I am horrible at math, I became a therapist and hire accountants and billing companies. I did not state accounting as my major so that I would flunk out of college and cry "poor me." I did not try a major in business when my peers were getting their MBAs, and I was getting my MSW at a little well known Liberal Arts College.

I am not trying to say I have all the answers, but I hope if you take anything from this writing is... focus on your assets, your gifts and what you enjoy and what just plain comes easy to you. I don't like bringing my faith into this since I respect all faiths and even the lack of. But, we all come to life with gifts and blessings...... we should use them not hide them. Whatever you are good at, and we all have something... make the best out of t.

Enjoy today because it is where you are now. Yesterday happened and we should not worry about tomorrow....that is not here yet.

New Year's Resolutions

Well, are they forgotten or you never made them? Now may just be the best time to start making positive changes. The pressure from new year's is over and we are in month two. This is 2012 and we are well accustomed to writing it. 2011 is long gone it seems. If you have wanted to make some changes go for it now. Think small and make the small changes that will lead to the larger goal.
I ran the Miami half marathon this past weekend after not running (at all) since December 11th when I completed my last half marathon. Life got busy and I am training for a cycling event. I have since recovered from the soreness, and actually ran a few miles this week. On Sunday, I decided that this year I am fitting more running into my schedule so that I don't have to relive my experience with the Miami half marathon. I ran Tuesday and will continue to run even if only a few miles just to keep up. Again, small goals leading to a larger goal. You pick one or two areas you want to change and start now, February 3rd or 4th....
Best of luck!

Happy New Year

Just a few more days left of 2011. At this time of the year, people set out to make changes and plan on new year resolutions for 2012. While change is good, it is important to remain realistic about change and set realistic short and long term goals. It seems like gyms are packed the first week of January and empty by February. Be realistic and be forgiving of relapses in your plans. It's ok to mess up as long as you "get back on the wagon". You may even want to start your goals early, prior to January 1st. Think of life style change, change for the positive. For example, to live healthier, not just to lose weight. If you start an exercise plan, just follow your plan, go for the walk but don't weigh yourself everyday. Change is difficult and seeing results will take time. Enjoy life, and have a great New Year!
Since we are on the topic of change. In June of this year, after 10 plus years of indoor cycling, I took it outside. I became a cyclist. Funny, that was barely a thought in January. Now in February, I plan on completing a century ride. In cycling lingo that means that I will be doing a 100 mile ride. It is a fundraiser. Again, change can happen at any time, as long as you are open to the process.

Happy Thanksgiving

Yes, Happy Thanksgiving. A day to focus on our blessings and be grateful for what we have. It is not "turkey day" but Thanksgiving. If you are breathing, sitting up, lying down, conscious, have a large family, a small family, no family but have friends, have a good nurse at your side, whatever your situation is, look at the blessings. Even is one is dying with someone next to you at the hospital room you are blessed to have someone love you to the very end. The key to happiness, as I say, is to see and focus on what our blessings are, on what we do have and not what you think you should have. So you don't have a Ferrari but the xxyy car ( whatever you drive) takes you to see your family/friends....be grateful!!!!

emotions and health

One's state of mind is as important as one's physical state. Our thoughts, and our self talk is as important as what we use to feed our bodies. Many people focus on calories, fat content and the like as if that alone was going to keep them healthy. Eating healthy portions of healthy foods is important but we also have to learn to keep our emotions in check. Being quick to anger, and holding grudges, lacking a sense of forgiveness also affects your health. As they say, "skinny people have heart attacks". Sure, it's related to genes but look at how you feel, keep your anger in check, work on communication with others and focus on complete health, not just your dietary constraints and habits.
Ideally, it's important to maintain good, healthy habits which should include, spiritual, physical, emotional, and intellectual growth.
Be well, Keep Healthy!