The Perfect male catch at mid life!!!!!!!!!!

We live in a world of guarantees. We are offered guarantees for everything we buy practically. We have come to somehow expect things to be perfect. Funny, because no one said life was going to be perfect and there are no guarantees. When dating it seems like women have interesting ideas of what the perfect man is. I have been amused by comments about what the men wear, drive etc. But also of interest, especially in mid-life is which is the best? Divorced, never married or widowed. Much has been said of each....for example, the divorced man may have the evil ex wife, the never married may have commitment phobias, and widowed has no baggage.
But again, we are forgetting that each person is different, has different experiences and one needs to approach each situation openly and free of bias.
There are no guarantees...while the widower is seen as with out baggage, he may idolize the deceased wife..... the divorced man may have been married before but so burned that he is commitment phobe or have other issues where he should have never married in the first place.
And, the single guy may just have had a life altering experience and be willing to commit.
Again, there are no guarantees, life is a journey and it's important to get to know the person.
We can not put people in boxes and make assumptions. What is important is that both parties are honest about their short and long term goals, and only time will tell because we can be told very pretty things in the beginning but only time will tell since people's true colors show with time. Happy dating!

Love

As I came to write on the blog, I already knew what I wanted to write about. I then realized that this is the second month that I write about love. And you know, it is not a bad thing! We all need love; especially with all the economic stress, wars, and losses everyone experiences so frequently.


I was inspired to write about love because of something I witnessed at home. I have a cat that has a chronic illness similar to Lupus. A few months ago she appeared to have a stroke and I took her in for her to be euthanized. I learned then ,what she had was a bleeding tumor in her ear, but after treatment she was better and will need daily ear drops and monthly shots. The vet and I decided to watch her and I said we'd call it hospice care since she was still interacting with the other cats and dog so she seemed too healthy to be euthanized.


I have seen the other cats kiss her head, lick her wound and they all spend time together...she even has neighborhood cat friends she interacts with. We went to the vet last week and her tumor no longer bleeds. She is better. What I find so amazing here is..... that I feel the love she has received from others has helped her heal.


So, before I lose you because you think I am a crazy cat lady....think about something...... love has the power to heal and comfort the weary and sick. There are bedridden people who so need a phone call or a nod....and we all do.....


So I thought I would share and ask everyone to be more loving to your fellow man/woman. We all can use a dose of love in our lives...It works for animals and it works for humans!

Happy Valentine's Day

Are you in love? Think you are in love? Do you know what love is? Read the following and be honest with yourself.


" Love is always patient and kind; love is never jealous;love is not boastful or conceited,it is never rude and never seeks advantage;it does not take offense or store up grievances. Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing,but finds its joy in the truth. It is always ready to make allowances, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Not to be compared to anything pathological, it is not co dependency. It is healthy and found in oneself and partners.

Midlife, Divorce, Change, Growth.......

I have posted in the past about midlife,challenges and have even posted about my own divorce. I wanted to share a book I read recently. I feel a need to share since the author is a therapist, divorced and a marathon runner. I have run two full marathons in my life and currently run half(s) just because I am on the slacker side and it's much easier to train and even go under trained for a half marathon which is "only" 13.1 miles. Maybe I am inspired to write about this book because I will be running the ING Miami Half marathon this weekend. Well, perhaps I should not let everyone know this since I have slacked on training, eaten way too many potato chips and oh, the chocolates. But, I have committed to this so I may run, walk, crawl, but I will be there this weekend.

The book is: Second Wind: One Woman's Midlife Quest to Run Seven Marathons on Seven Continents. The author is Cami Ostman. Although I have no plans to race in all 7 continents...although I have thought about doing all marathons in Florida.... well, maybe the
half(s.) Well, maybe.

This is Ms. Ostmans personal journey, where she explores her feelings regarding religion, women, marriage and life in general. One does not have to be a runner to appreciate this book. Ms. Ostman even discusses that while running was her vessel to self growth everyone can choose their own. I have said many times that marathon running has taught me a lot. You start at the starting line hoping for the best. On that journey there will be elevations, such as hills, bridges, wind, rain and many obstacles. There will be pain, but you will dig deep within yourself to get the strength to push through. On occasions there will be catastrophes where the bus or rescue will pick you up. Theses are rare but if you live through it, you can come back next time stronger and complete the challenge. Again, it comes down to choices, we are winners if we choose to be winners. By winner, I don't mean winning the marathon..... but winning for you, conquering your challenge.

Yes you can, if you believe you can.

Choose Life

In today's world, these two words can cause a heated debate. These two simple words have become charged by a movement that perhaps need not be political. But this is not about that.
" Choose Life" I saw that on a license plate the other day and couldn't help but see that there is so much more to this than the political movement. Let's read it again, Choose Life.

I believe when we choose life, we choose to live. Choose to be whole, be positive, share with others and work on maintaining peace in our souls.

Happiness and contentment, as is love are all choices. We choose to love others and we choose to be happy and content. What is the secret to happiness? I have a deal for you, I can let you on the secret, right here, for free. No need to buy the the several books out there. Count your blessings and be aware and happy for what you have.

Of course, life is full of hills and valleys. But, you have blessings, you have strengths. It is not about what your neighbor has or what you think you "should have" it's what you have.

An exercise that some people do, is keep a blessings journal. For those not used to seeing life this way, it may take a while to reframe your thinking, but it is possible.

Take time this Thanksgiving and look at the blessings, the positives in your life.

Parenting Your Catholic Teen (Part One)

Parenting Your Catholic Teen (Part One)

Libia's Interview... friends and couples (in spanish)